Visions of Grandeur

Some thoughts. Yellow fever. Asian fetish.

2011-07-30T21:15:00.003-04:00

Thanks tomy busy lifestyle, I've had a hard time meeting men. I'm pretty self-aware for a girl who is in her early twenties, and I know exactly what I want out of a relationship.

Unfortunately, the men that I usually meet are not looking for that. It also doesn't help that I don't actually walk out of the house intending on meeting my soulmate on line at the Starbucks when getting our morning lattes. Also, I'm friendly and ultimately oblivious to any kind of sign that a man is interested in me as anything more than a "friend."

I do not think any of these things are WRONG, it's simply just some observations that I have made when it comes to myself and the opposite sex.

Which is why I've started on OkCupid. Something about the convenience of clicking through a few buttons to swath a path into some partners that might be compatible along with the anonymity of a computer screen and the option to "not reply" is rather nice. Such is our convenient fast-food lifestyle.

Not that there is anything wrong with any of those things. But personally, I've been on OkCupid. And after a few exchanges, I've come to one date that has actually... manifested.

Which is cool. I dabble in OkCupid. I don't log onto it every day and spend hours (or even minutes) tweaking my profile. And then hours seeking out potential matches. I log on for about 10-15 minutes a week (or so). I'll usually only spend longer on it if I get some messages and the other side requires more investigation.

But I've come to the disheartening realization that I am a victim of Yellow Fever, or in some circles, known as Asian Fetish.

I think what bothers me most about it is that I don't know WHY it bothers me so much. It really really shouldn't. Primarily because everyone has physical preferences, right? And isn't Yellow Fever just a manifestation of that physical preference? The guy likes Asian features. What's so wrong with that.

So I talked about it with my girlfriends. And most of us of Asian or minority descent are pretty much put off by any of these "fevers" (jungle fever, brown fever, yellow fever, etc). One girlfriend put it aptly as "You know it crosses into the fever or fetish zone when he still puts up with all this crap just because you are xx-minority."

And I think that's it. I look at guys' dating tracks, and all of them seem to just be inordinately occupied with women who are of such-and-such minority. They just seem to go for these girls. No real rhyme or reason. I think what irritates me the most is that they go EXCLUSIVELY for these girls.

I have one good friend. He is of a non-Asian minority. Which is cool. I began to suspect that he had Yellow Fever a long time ago when he would eagerly show me the latest Korean drama that he was watching and would want to talk to me about them. Instantly, all kinds of red flags popped up. "Uh... how do you even know about this? And why are you interested? Even I'M not that interested." And then that slowly devolved into him dumping his ex-girlfriend for an Asian girl. Who, arguably, was not cuter than his ex and was also considerably older PLUS with an ex-husband and a small toddler.

And it got worse. When that Asian girlfriend dumped him, he found another Asian girlfriend online almost overnight. In fact, it's definitely an online dating relationship. She's still in Asia.

And I don't know why it bothers me so much. He says he prefers Asian girls because they tend to have gentler personalities and demeanors. Isn't that some kind of stereotyping somewhere? I think what bothers me is that he goes out looking for Asian women, possibly disregarding the great great non-Asian girl that's right in his face.

Maybe that's what bothers me the most. Because stereotypes can be overcome. And physical preferences are what they are. But it gets to a point where a guy has to be into you for YOU and not some kind of physical fetish with your appearance and some misconception of your personality because of what society has fed to him.

So to all those guys who have Asian fever and are really into Asian women: make sure you're into her for HER. Take away the Asian-part of her looks and be like "Hm... would I still like her if she was something-else?"

Thankfully, most people don't stick it out when their personalities are incompatible. But as an Asian woman who is out there trying to find decent men, I really wish guys would have some kind of sticker on them that said, "I only asked you out because you were Asian."

2010 Recap

2011-01-01T10:11:00.003-05:00

So much happened in 2010 that I can't even remember. I can't even remember anything through January-May. So let's just go with what I CAN remember.

. heh. Berman lectures. I don't remember much about that class, but sitting there glazed over.
. ooh. Epic moment in Reza's class. "Why was he peeping at the naked ladies?" "Because he wanted to get off-- wait a minute...." [Get off in the legal-liability sense]
. Rediscovering potential new friends. Thanks to Eugene & Jasmine's epic karaoke brawl. Hi, Mark W.
. ooh. First shot at Restaurant Week
. First *real* crush that was an almost-relationship that fizzled.
. Still have a long way to go.
. +body confidence/self esteem/self image.
. -money =(
. got a job! TWO OF THEM! Blessed beyond belief by God. So wholly and totally and completely blessed that I don't even know how it happened. It's one of those overwhelming moments where not only can you just shudder in awe at how incredible God is, but that you swoon because you realize that He did it all for you and that it's all going to be okay. I mean, awesome internship where I had a great experience, learned a million things, and have a boss that ADORES me...? And THEN getting a *paid* job doing virtually *nothing* at the school library?
. BLESSED
. ooh. Yelping. Andrew and Carly.
. Fooding. Volunteering at PbP and Food Network's Food & Wine Festival. Something that I will *never* forget and am SO SO SO glad I did.
. older friends and good mentors. connections and networking.
. Wei and Xiao O. love em. ooh. Austin too.
. friend is bizexual? what the...?/
. going out every week for basically the first 6-8 weeks of the semester because of AALSA stuff.
. drinking more than I ever have in my life. I really hope I'm not becoming an alcoholic.
. Sandy. Aw.
. Legally buying music. Lots of it.
. Hi, Ryan Farish
. Kostant bonding sessions. Hi, Legislation & Regulation
. ooh. Ed's support and everlasting encouragement. I need to make another meeting with him.
. discovering that pencil skirts work for me. whoddathunk?
. heels.
. shoes. many many shoes. discovering how important shoes are to a wardrobe and a profession.
. dressing up and then dressing down.
. aw. Julia's pregnancy. The meals we shared in Ktown.
. Ktown at night is different than Ktown during the day. What the...?
. Thomas Tang *shudder*
. lotioning everyday is pretty good for my skin and sanity.
. Dave's great birthday party! And cinnamon schnapps at his place!
. bonding with old friends and making fantastic fantastic fantastic new ones!
. flirting.
. sexting.
. Glee!
. Trinity.
. Aw. Dor.
.......

And end. Well, 2010. You were definitely another one of those milestone years. Primarily because it just reinforced God wanting me in NYC at NYLS. And wanting me to be a lawyer. 2011 will only be better. Because God's blessings are neverending and abundant.!

Dress Code Resolutions 2011

2010-12-31T20:01:00.002-05:00

Resolutions I can make. And keep.

1) FIND THAT TAILOR. The minute you get back to NYC, GO SEEK THEM OUT. Schedule appointments! I've had three in my address book that I've been meaning to look up for the LONGEST time.

2) Go shopping with your mom, but quit expecting her to have some magical revelation that she no longer sees you as that dumpy and overweight pubescent teen from high school.*

3) Wear a dress or skirt at least once a week. Weekends and nights out don't count. Wear it to class. Screw those who say otherwise.**

4) Finally put those funky laces on your sneakers. And then wear them out. Omg.

5) For every NEW ITEM OF CLOTHING you buy, resolve to throw something out. ***

* I am firmly a size L or lower now (mostly because I'm still quite tall so Ms usually are too short for my torso) and yet my mother persists in insisting that I'm an XL+ .... grrr. Although, now I'm starting to realize that part of it might be somewhat nostalgic now that I've moved away to NYC and have a life that she knows nothing about, it's something that she still clings to that she "knows about me." The fact that I'm at Old Navy looking at shirt dresses and she's shaking her head and clucking her tongue ("Nancy, that's a *soft* cotton dress. You can't wear that. It'll make you look huge. You need someone that has an A-line"... hardly, Mother. I have that same exact dress, and I look fantastic in it. I love you, but stop trying to pretend that you actually have a sense of fashion or style. You, um. Don't. Love you, but your fashion sense is the kind of stuff that you picked up from magazines instead of personal experience or eye or taste. I'm not saying she has *bad* taste, but I just have a body type that requires *thinking* and can't be so easily slotted into those "body types.").

** Funnily, I was the best dressed during finals when I didn't see the "regular crowd" of people every single day and I didn't really care what other people think when I was at school cramming. I was wearing jeggings with boots, dresses with leggings... heh. Even funnier is that at law school, there are about 500 million reasons for a person to be dressed up on any given day (interviews, workshops, seminars, internships, court appearances, meetings, etc) that it is NOT unusual for a person to walk into class looking fancy. No one really bats an eye. We ask, but usually it's a very plausible explanation.

*** This should help with my shopping addiction, no doubt. And my ever-expanding closet. I really really need to reorganize.

2010-10-23T18:42:00.001-04:00

It makes me sad when I visit makeup shops to see the associates with gorgeous makeup but clearly visible spots underneath the concealer, foundation, bronzer, and powder.

It's a sad vicious cycle. You get spots, put makeup on to cover them, makeup gives you more spots... and on and on and on. Let your skin breathe, pretty ladies! In 6-12months time, you'll be able to just get away with undereye concealer and eyemakeup and have pretty pretty skin.

That's the reason why I'm most thankful for... well, oddly enough, NYC. Left me with no time to do makeup (daily face), so instead, I walked around barefaced almost all the time. Now? I have pretty much clear skin except for the occasional spots and dark circles/undereye weirdness. Still... it's a lot better than what I would "have" to be dealing with...

I hate oatmeal

2010-08-04T14:50:00.001-04:00

Okay, I really don't actually. But I find it difficult to be too creative with it without milk (and I am perpetually without milk). But a little goes a long way with me (haha) because I don't like it so I can eat a little bit and make it through the day.

meh.

SoonDuBu Chigae! My experience anyway....

2010-07-27T14:15:00.002-04:00

My soondubu chigae experience:

It was super fun. I followed the recipe that I got on Maangchi, but ended up not having anchovies (not like I really wanted them) or onion. I was most disappointed about the onion, truth be told. I ended up spending less than $10 and made a HUGE pot of soondubu chigae that will last me at LEAST 3 dinners (considering the fact that it's so spicy that you only need a teensy bit each time to make yourself really happy).

Anyway, so I vaguely follow Maangchi's recipe but not only do I not believe in using measuring utensils... I also don't have any. So everything was decently eyeballed and tossed into the pot accordingly.

So I bought chicken leg quarters the other day and I already stewed one in the morning, so I had a pot of chicken broth/stock waiting for me when I got home. I went to the grocery store and bought two packages (blocks) of "Chinese" tofu (it's really all the same) in silken and soft because I didn't know the difference. There is some, but I love tofu in all forms including firm, so I wasn't being annoying about it. I bought a package of kelp, three packages of Roland crushed red peppers (Roland is a GREAT brand) but it wasn't until I got home and cooked it that I realized that the red pepper pieces were too coarse and didn't "melt" or turn the stew as red as I would have liked it (the color eventually came through, but it was still closer to a brownish-red (because of the stock) than a !BRIGHT CHILI RED!). Still, the flavor was as strong as I liked it (and then some). The crushed red pepper was annoying. Thankfully, i have a strainer-spoon, so what I did was I just strained the hot peppers all out. It was fine. A bit on the annoying side, but considering I already had the pepper and was improvising... I think I did a pretty good job.

Moving on, I forgot to buy the onion and on my way home through Chinatown, none of the open-air markets had it and I didn't feel like venturing into the grocery section of the food store (the line already took forever) just for an onion. Especially since I could improvise. So I ended up making a "broth" out of:
fresh brewed chicken broth, six cloves of garlic, and dried kelp. I think the kelp sincerely made the biggest difference. I NEVER knew you could make soup out of it and now that I know you can, I think I'm a bit obsessed. I LOVE LOVE LOVE kelp. I think it's delicious (it's dried, so you have to stew it for awhile) but I just sat there and munched on it. It was disgustingly piggy but kelp is very healthy? I dunno. It IS delicious and apparently fairly nutritious. It's got a million and one minerals and vitamins. All I know is that I just sat there and ate it. Like the pig I am. I'll try just cooking it in water next time. I am atrocious.

Anyway, so I threw the garlic and kelp/seaweed into the pot with the chicken broth and let it stew/simmer/brew for about 45 minutes. I was running around cleaning my room and doing other various "busy" things, but by that time, it had reduced down to a decently non-watery substance. The soup right then and there was delicious. It had a vague tinge of saltiness (probably because of the natural "briny" nature of the seaweed), but actually would've made a really good soup. Happy with my success, I scooped out the seaweed and the chicken and the garlic and opened up the package of crushed red pepper. And thus began pouring it in. Now, the lady on the Maangchi said about 2-5 teaspoons of the pepper depending on how spicy you want it. Since I lack and abhor measuring utensils, I just... poured it in. Whoops. I probably got 7-8 teaspoons in there. And then dashed another small pinch in there for good measure.

Like I said: I wanted it hot hot hot.

Anyway, so while it brewed, I was all, "Hm... this isn't reducing down to a nice pretty red color like it did with Maangchi. In fact, it's not getting really red at all." *sobs* So while it's simmering/stewing again, I go to my computer, pull up the video and spend a few minutes finding out what "crushed red peppers" she's talking about.

"Oh..."

Well, needless to say, mine were way too coarse to actually "melt" or at least "work" or "reduce" its way into the soup. The flavor was released, but you'd be stuck with big big big red pepper flakes. The solution? Either get a spice grinder or strain it out. Actually, since I already threw the red pepper in there, my only choice was the former. Brilliant brainstorm? I think so. I have a strainer, so I just scooped up as much of the large offensive pieces (by that point, the peppers had been strained long enough to be adequate, I believe) and when my strainer wasn't catching anymore, I was all, "Ahh...." that's better. I didn't care so much about their presence and having large pieces of crushed red pepper sort of deteriorates from the silky smooth soupy aspect of any chigae.... especially soondubu chigae made with SILKY tofu. I actually really like making this, so getting one of those "ball" strainers might be a good investment because... I am a moron and didn't buy the powdered/finely crushed red peppers.

So I let the pot simmer some more while I opened and cleaned my tofu. Then I just haphazardly scooped it all it into the pot while I broke up the larger chunks with my metal spoon. As everything was coming to a slow roll, I cracked open a bag of frozen mixed veggies (kernels of corn, peas, chopped carrots, and small cut-up green beans, and lima beans) and tossed it in there for the flavor and the Japanese-Korean fusion place I went to do that and I really liked it.

And then I was so excited that my cooking "experiment" (because I have acknowledge that my cooking skills aren't necessarily "reliable") was done that I forgot to crack and egg, which I know would've made my soup more viscous BUT in my defense, it's good. Because egg is the ONLY thing in there that I actually worry much about going bad. Tofu should last for awhile and the spiciness of the soup itself should help keep everything safe. It's just the egg. But I forgot to throw in a few eggs, so oh well. Next time, I suppose. And I forgot Shitake mushrooms, which are my favorite (I looove mushrooms), but next time I SHALL HAVE THESE THINGS!

I was tasting the soup at this time and after my fun with the red pepper, I realized that the soup lacked "depth." It was just... spicy. Nothing else, realy. You could vaguely taste the salty underpinnings of the broth, but just BARELY. So I used chicken stock powder (which is made with not only "chicken" flavor but also onion and garlic powder) to "taste." And then "....Ahh....." I got the depth I wanted.

So I let everything come to a boil, and then shut off the stove. Scooped out a bowl of rice and a large bowl of soon dubu. The best part about this whole thing? The spiciness REALLY helps decrease the appetite. A few sips of the soondubu soup and I was all, *stuffed*. I forced myself to finish the bowl with the tofu and everything else, but I only touched a few bits of the rice (and that was mostly to offset the spiciness).

All in all, it was a pretty good first attempt. Of course, I made it. So I'm not going to say it was horrible. And it would've been even better if I had followed the recipe verbatim. But even considering the fact that I didn't and I improvised and then added dashes of stuff here and there... I think I had a pretty good time. I will be making more from now on and hopefully it will just keep on getting better and better!

So I can't resist...

2010-06-27T17:03:00.002-04:00

This is more like a venting thing than an "asking for advice" thing, because I'm well aware that no one reads my blog.

So I'm just going to vent.

I went out last night with a friend and this guy she's seeing and a couple of his friends. I'd never met them before, but I hit it off really really well with this guy. He's adorable in that geeky way, but I always like geeky or nerdy guys because I'm incredibly geeky and so they have to understand that. Also because I'm pretty darn hot, they'll be the reacher and the settler always has more comfort in a relationship. =P Just kidding. I'm not superficial or vicious like that. But really, we had major chemistry and we basically all sat together and watched this play together. But after the play was over, we all hung out to wait for my friend's guy (he was the one in the play) and we talked and chatted and... MAJOR CHEMISTRY. It wasn't until the night was over (many many hours later, mind you), that my friend was like, "He was totally flirting with you the entire time, even before he had a single drop of drink." And I was like, "...o rly? I thought he was just being friendly... um.... Cool?" (The hesitation will be explained, because as a rule I LOVE it when guys flirt with me because it's a great esteem boost). Anyway, so we all headed to a small divey bar with cheap $2 beers that the men enjoyed while my girlfriend and I sipped cranberry vodkas (a little light on the vodka, but I'm okay with that because we had pregamed pretty intensely with some Grey Goose before hitting the play).

So we're chatting, he's being super friendly, super attentive, and it was all very flattering. I looked supremely hot, so it wasn't any surprise (got another random compliment by some guy! It was, "yo yo! Check this out" he said to his friend across the way as I walked past. That was pretty nice). But anyway, the play venue was pretty close to my apartment, and my heels were killing me, so I insisted on heading up to my apartment and I was like, "We have a bottle of Grey Goose chilling if you guys want to come up and take a few free vodka shots" (honestly, who turns down free Grey Goose anything?). On the way there, my girlfriend and I have our little quick chat-rundown-conferencing session (as girls are wont to do) and we exchanged quick stats on the guys and I was like, "I think he's SO cute and geeky and i LOVE geeky" and she's like "Go for it! I think he has a girlfriend but she's out of town, so just go for it!" Essentially, what she meant was, "I don't think he'd be acting like this if they were still together, so they probably aren't. So he's free game" (usually guys are VERY quick to mention they have girlfriends or significant others, so I figured he didn't because he didn't even come CLOSE to mentioning that he had one). So with her... advice in town, I proceeded.

So we reach my apartment and everyone follows me up the Stairs of Terror and everyone took a few shots all the while, the guy is still totally flirting with me and he's coming on pretty strong by that point because we're both decently inebriated by that point. He says some pretty insinuating things like, "Aw come on, we could totally make really hot half-Asian babies" and "but you totally have the hips for [childbearing]" which means that he's been...looking. But in my little purpose skirt, my buttocks do look fantastic, so I forgive just about anything when I wear that skirt because it sincerely looks like I'm asking for it in that skirt.

Uh...

Moving on.

We end up heading to this divey bar a few blocks from my apartment that serves really cheap shots. We all get some generous tequila shots (....the beginnings of the end, I assure you) and I had... three. Technically two and a half, but I had at least three glasses of something-tequila. And tequila gets me HAMMERED. So I was pretty darn plastered by the time we left the bar. We head to a karaoke place around the corner from the bar, the guy who's basically running the night (the mutual friend, essentially), gets us a small private room where we rent it out and start picking out songs and going nuts. He orders a pitcher of beer (which I DO NOT touch), but we go a little nuts over the whole karaoke thing. Sidenote: one of the guys was going to bail just... cause, but he ended up sticking around and realizing how much fun karaoke was and he had an AWESOME night too (we're insane, btw). I ordered like a million songs -- very funny -- and sang our hearts out. SO amusing. I'm glad at least another person in the whole world tolerates my penchance for ... karaoke. And by that, I mean non-Asian. Asian people tend to take karaoking very seriously and they're all very good at it. Americans tend to take it not seriously at all and you have to be completely plastered to go karaoking. The American version is more fun especially since karaoking is so expensive in America that you might as well have fun instead of going in there and belting it like you're Celine Dion at her last performance of the season in Vegas.

So it's loud and noisy, so there isn't much more time for talking, but the guy who was macking on me before is starting to get a little handsy. And by that, I mean it wasn't inappropriate or anything... it was just a lot of arm around the shoulders, playing with my fingers, running his fingers down my neck, that kind of thing. Held my hands -- in like that intimate fingers-interlocked kind of way -- a few times too. Again, all very flattering and all very nice. And the girlfriend thing was never brought up again (bros are usually very good about letting other bros get their game on though, even if they do have girlfriends). I end up belting out some song (not very well, mind you cause I'm drunk) and standing up and doing my arm choreography and then plopping down to my girlfriend who's sitting on the other side of the little couch away from where i was sitting before. Not on purpose, but I just wanted to talk to her for a little bit, because I had previously been sandwiched between the two guys that I'd never even met before. Anyway, she's flirting and doing other really touchy-feely-sexy things with the guy that she's "seeing" so I'm just... "Hmph. Well I guess I'll just SING" so i... do. And naturally, the guy that has been flirting with me the whole time comes over and plops down next to me and starts doing his mild petting thing again. Even to the point of offering me a foot rub!

Again, flattered to the extreme. It wasn't until we all stumbled out of the karaoke place (after two hours and with him holding my hand the entire time) and head to a diner (for the post-drunk fooding that needs to be had)... when he grabs my hands as though we're a couple when we're sitting at the table and I kindly scoff him off (I'm pretty good at covering up my brush-offs as not seeming cold) on the pretense of grabbing the menu when his friend leans over to me and tells me, "You know he has a girlfriend, right?" I nod because I didn't want to seem like a moron, but it was at that exact moment I knew that it would never be.

Which is fine despite how much I like him, but also incredibly toxic and confusing for me. BECAUSE, first of all: why was he being all flirty with me if he HAS a girlfriend? They started talking about her and he seemed to be really out of it, period (like the conversation and the whole evening and he kept on running to the bathroom -- probably trying to throw up or sth), but they made it very clear that he was off limits. WHICH IS FINE. Because now that I know, he is. So I don't think they'll blame it on me. BUT, why was he flirting with me if he has a girlfriend? And let's say I hang out with these guys some more. And later this year... him and his girlfriend break up... just like as a natural course of their relationship, and I find out he's single. Do I pursue him then?

Because the only reason I can think of him being all flirty with me is because he's "unhappy at home" and the relationship is almost already out the door. Which means they will break up and he WILL be available. But if he was fooling around with me (it was more like emotional cheating than physical cheating which is kinda the same thing) while he was in a relationship with her, then what's to stop him from doing the same with any of his future girlfriends?

Another reason is the simplest one and the reason why I was also flirting back: Alcohol. Which almost makes sense because he was pretty senseless by the end of the night, so he very well could have no idea what he was doing. But I don't think that's true, because when he made some REALLY outrageous comments, that was before we even had the vodka shots (or immediately after, so before alcohol settles in). He didn't get all touchy-feely though till we hit the karaoke bar, and that was after the tequila. BUT I think it was more a liquid courage thing and not a "I don't want to and the alcohol is just making me touchy-feely" thing (like I get).

So I'm kind of left not knowing what to think: does he like me? But even if he does, does that matter? I mean, essentially, he was cheating on his girlfriend. It was emotional cheating. You don't go around telling another girl that you want to give her babies when you're in a relationship with someone else. OMG. Or maybe he didn't say that. But he definitely said something along the lines of, "Oh, come on. You could totally make hot half-Asian babies." Which means he was definitely thinking about me. Participating in the baby-making process. Preferably with him, probably. Yeah, it didn't lead to anything, but that was only because I wouldn't let it. I didn't give him a single opportunity to even try to kiss me (essentially kept my distance and barely looked at him face-to-face) even though with his body language he certainly gave every indication that he wouldn't reject me.

So unless they have a dramatically open relationship, or that's just the guy he is (and frankly, I would NOT be comfortable dating a guy who shoots off his mouth like that, tbh...

How to save a buck or two by shopping at Whole Foods.

2010-06-19T18:25:00.003-04:00

sacre bleu! I cannot be done!!!

Welcome to the mecca of upscale grocery stores, known as Whole Foods. Or affectionately nicknamed by many of my peers "Whole Paycheck".

lol. I totally believe you. So I'm going to disclaim this post with a few things:
I am single
I shop only for what I want to eat and don't shop for anyone else
I do not buy household supplies at Whole Foods
I live within walking distance of Whole Foods and a few other grocery stores... so I don't incorporate gas into my purchases -- if gas does make a large difference in your grocery shopping endeavors, then disregard this post.

With those things said, I'm going to run through what I buy and find very affordable at Whole Foods that just about everyone could incorporate into their weekly grocery runs that wouldn't really break the bank (at least I think). It's also not a lot of things... it's not like I'm going to run through everything I buy on a regular basis...

Yogurt
Whole Foods' own house 365 brand (organic and non-organic varieties) has these large 32oz containers of delicious yogurt for you to snatch up for only $2.99 a pop. Get them in regular, strawberry, and vanilla. Note: strawberry is only available in non-organic varieties. For the record, I usually get the organic, non-fat vanilla variety. Flavored with natural flavors and NO high fructose corn syrup for those of you who are nutritionally minded (myself included, actually).
(For those of you who like more variety, I recently bought frozen berries and I simply drained the juice into some yogurt and made delicious berry flavored yogurt. It was really nice, actually). For the record, these large containers are sold -- at the most inexpensive grocery store in my area -- for at LEAST $3.99 and are still non-organic varieties.

Hummus
Whole Foods sells it for $1.99 for a regular sized container (the smallish ones, I think around 8oz?). A very good deal for very delicious hummus. Outside of Whole Foods, it goes for about $2.50+. Also, they have many different flavors of hummus. My newest favorite is Greek hummus where it's flavored with zatar (I'm not too sure what that is) and gets a little extra zing!.

Rolled Oats
This is where I feel Whole Foods absolutely shines. Bulk bins! And they also don't have a limit. At $1.19/lb... you can buy as little or as much as you want. I am currently going through an "eating better to lose weight" kind of fooding lifestyle (it's kind of working...) and oatmeal has been at the top of my priorities. To eat more, to use it more, to buy it more, blah blah blah. Quaker sells large large large quantities of oatmeal that I just can't commit to. I don't know if I'll get sick of it, stop wanting to eat it, etc. So I came across this on my last Whole Foods endeavor (for what it's worth, I do go shopping there when I'm bored) and I figured "Eh, why not?" Put a few scoops in a bag, printed out the tare tag (sticker shock, actually), and then happily proceeded to register. Best part about it is, if I want more, next time I'll just buy more. One week's quantity is only about $0.50 (I need to eat very little oatmeal because I pair it with other things like berries and yogurt) and if I want more, I'll buy more, but it'll save me the trouble of having a large cannister of oatmeal staring me in the face every time I open the cupboard. Not only does the cannister take up space, It's also very very difficult to eat that much oatmeal.
Note: They also sell rice (white, jasmine, basmati, brown, wild, etc) in bulk as well. Not as inexpensive as getting it at the Asian supermarket, but when you're in a rush OR you just want some brown rice to go with your yogurt sauce tonight, good place to go for it. Still, rolled oats ARE lighter than that, so that's why I think it's more worth it. ALSO: you can get granola in bulk too! Which I think is fantastic because granola is something that is deceptively fattening, so keep it to light light treats... on occasion.

Leafy Greens
Now don't get me wrong! I'm not talking about getting lettuce and romaines and spinaches and stuff like that... I'm talking about how Whole Foods sells a salad spring mix, baby spinach, and another "random leafy green mix" (that's suitable for eating raw, braising, sauteeing, etc... says so on the label!") in bulk. $7.99/lb, sure sounds pricey, but GET THIS: Greens are airy light!. To get an actual pound of these greens... you'd have a LOT LOT LOT. A few bunches can get you through a few meals, easily. What I do is I steam them with a little sea salt and a little pepper (and some five spice powder) and then when they're done, I have a delicious bowl of healthy leafy greens that I can enjoy.

Sea Salt
Actually, I came across an interesting display at Whole Foods featuring the Master Cleanse/Lemonade Diet. Granted, it wasn't obviously advertised, but if you know anything about it: when there's a large display of gallon-jugs of spring water, cannisters of sea salt, grade B maple syrup (grade B!), organic lemon juice, and cayenne pepper ....yeah, you know what's going on. Anyway, I don't know how "cheap" it is, but they didn't have it before (!!). $1.99 for a large cannister of coarse or fine sea salt (your choice). Not bad, if you ask me.

Lemon juice
I love lemon juice. Not just for cooking, because it's so usefully multipurpose, but also for other things... Nothing is quite as refreshing as coming home and pouring a cold glass of water and then pouring some lemon juice into it. Well, Whole Foods sells it bottled now, for $2.99 a bottle. And it's organic, and no, it has no icky preservatives. Good beans!

Okay, well that's all I can think of for now. So like I said: Don't actually do all your shopping at Whole Foods, otherwise you will end up broke -- but I like going there for these items and they're surprisingly affordable and just as good as anything you'd get outside in the world.

Yum!

Is it about "The Climb" or is it really about the destination?

2010-06-03T23:21:00.002-04:00

AHMIR's cover of Miley Cyrus' "The Climb"

In their video info, they posted the question:
The video question is taken from the song lyrics...Is it REALLY NOT about whats waiting on the other side??? What do you think? Could you appreciate the climb if there was no reward?

And it got me thinking... Is it really about the climb or about what's waiting on the other side? The spiritual side of me says that it's about what's waiting on the other side. Because we can do all the great things, we can work super hard and climb a ton of "mountains" and "uphill battles," but without Jesus, we don't have an other side. So in one sense it's NOT about the climb.

But, as a Christian -- isn't it about the climb as well? We live our lives to glorify God and His great works. And what He has done for us. How can we show that without a climb?

So maybe it is about both? It IS about what's waiting for us on the other side, but it's ALSO about what we did to get to that other side. I don't like the message that this song sends if you listen to it from the perspective that, "it's not about the end destination, it's about the journey..." But what if your journey was great. You were a "good man" and you were a "smart man" and you were a "loving man" and you were everything the world upholds as good, strong, and upstanding...

But you were a man that sinned. Who cheated on his taxes once or twice, who told a few lies here and there, who lusted after other women even though you never acted physically on those impulses; a man who got drunk at a bar during his college years and assaulted another man, a man who did do any of the "big" bad things, but certainly did a lot of the little ones.

But you're still a good man. So it's not about the destination, it's about the journey? The journey justifies the destination, right? The means justify the ends?

Well, I believe contrary. I believe that the end justifies the means. Oh, not in the superficial sense -- but in the long-term eternal sense. My end destination in heaven justifies everything I do in this lifelong journey. So yeah, it's about the end because that is the context of my climb.

So unless your "other side" is Heaven, I think this song is incredibly depressing. Because it uplifts the fact that as long as you have a good "journey" or a good and worthwhile "climb," the end will be all right.

And that's not true.

E-Prime

2010-05-24T16:54:00.003-04:00

... haha, no it has nothing to do with technology.
Actually, E-Prime concerns itself with the most basest of all forms of communication: speech.

Read this article for more information:

E-Prime tips-upside-down the way that all of us construct and think about speech and language. In a nutshell, E-Prime is a language-style (of English, at least), in which the speaker/writer completely refuses to use the verb(s) 'to be' (in all of its various forms). Trust me, the difficulty of using E-Prime cannot be explained in only a few words. Is "has/have" "to be?" In a bizarre paradoxical sense, E-Prime necessitates the speaker/writer to be more "vague" in his/her language but also more complex in his/her descriptions. Instead of saying "This shirt is red," in E-Prime, it would be more correct to say, "This shirt seems red." (see how just tweaking the verb slightly suddenly gives the sentence a much more nuanced effect?).

"The Defendant is guilty."
OR
"The Defendant has placed himself in a sitation where he appears to be guilty but there are many more factors that one must consider before claiming such an egregious statement."
OR
"The Defendant appears to be guilty because of several conclusive and convincing factors such as... ."

E-Prime is an incredibly taxing mental exercise, which I actually don't mind participating in at all. Quite frankly, speaking before thinking thoroughly could be considered a major downfalling of my personality. Unfortunately, despite the assertions and encouragement and mental-reprimands that I give myself, I constantly find myself always... speaking before I think. Or doing before I think. Utilizing E-Prime would appear to be an ideal situation to allow me to step back and think about what I say before I actually open my mouth and speak.

I can only hope that when people around me wait for me to respond to them, they don't consider me to be some kind of slow person who has difficulty formulating thoughts and responses.

haha. =P

I also hope I don't sound or come across as a pretentious d-bag too.

Word 2007 Shorcut Keys

2010-03-30T19:27:00.003-04:00

Because this has been frustrating me for ... about time immortale... and Google failed me in my quest -- I have decided to create a blog entry for future foragers into the wide world of Microsoft Word 2007 shortcut keys.

Long and short of it -- have your shortcut keys (CTRL-A; CTRL-S, CTRL-C; etc) mysteriously stopped working? Check your Insert Symbols log. Did you assign your shortcut key to a symbol instead? Because if you did -- that may be the culprit. It was in my case. If that's the case, figure out the culprit, go to Insert --> Symbols and get to recitifcationing the problem. !

Addendum...

Well, my save (CTRL-S) shortcut key mysteriously stopped working. Googled it to no avail. Turns out, because I am a legal writer (well, I try to be), I have to use the Section ( § ) symbol a lot. It requires going to Insert --> Symbol --> [browsing for symbol] --> *click* Insert ... Quite time consuming. So I figured, "okay, I'll create a Shortcut Key for it" (cause you can do that when browsing the Insert-Symbol menu/thing). And so what is more natural than CTRL,S,T (after all, SecTion ... right?). So it worked. But whenever I tried to use my shortcut key (CTRL, S) to save, NOTHING would happen. Scoured Google, wasted precious studying time (ahem) until finally... 10 minutes ago, I figured out the problem.

Well, situation rectified, sanity restored.

Not to mention I just upgraded the RAM in my netbook to 2GB. Not exactly seeing a massive massive MASSIVE increase in performance, but it is humming along a lot more delightfully than before.

quickie.

2010-03-23T23:57:00.001-04:00

Epiphany: American products usually don't work well with most people's skin because they aren't pH balanced.
I am talking about drugstore products here. In Asia, they tend to be more sensitive to that kind of thing. That's why, aside from time of the month breakouts (hellloo hormones), and crazy crazy stress levels and mood swings... my skin loves Kanebo Naive Aloe foaming facial cleanser (that, and Japanese people have managed to formulate it so that it doesn't need sulfates to foam. what what?)

So it's all about keeping your skin pleasant and pH balanced and not overstripping.

...Friendships and Gossiping.

2010-01-22T13:51:00.002-05:00

It's not a New Year's Resolution. More like a life resolution.

I am a severe gossiper. To the point where I make Gossip Girl look shy. Because she just speculates and poses thought-provoking questions and doesn't add anything else. I observe, ask, poke my nose around, and THEN blindly and wildly speculate.

It's not a good habit. Especially as a God-fearing Christian. It's not my place to even talk about other people. In any kind of context or respect. So I've been trying not to. So far, it's been working pretty well. It's been one week into it though. I broke down a few times, but I've been trying to stay on the this new path. I've just been keeping to myself a lot. Which leads me to speculate...

Wow. A lot of my conversations in general are surrounded by gossiping. I talk about other people, I talk about other people, and I wonder aloud about other people. I inquire as to other people, how they're doing, what they're doing. But I never ask them about other people (except in the superficial, "Oh, have you seen so-and-so? Is she sick?" sense). And I'm trying to avoid talking about other people.

I think I'm turning into a listener rather than a talker. Okay, not really. And I'm starting to wonder if I'm really that shallow. But I think it's because of the comfort zones that I have with certain people and about certain things. One of my "good" (I don't know where we are now. It's a big awkward) is probably my biggest gossip-enabler. Because she loves it as much, if not more, than I do. So whenever I'm with her... we just gossip.

And gossip
And gossip
And gossip.

Occasionally we talk about other things like schoolwork and stuff like that. But mostly we gossip about people we know, classmates, teachers, etc. On and on and on.

And it's terrible. And I don't want to not talk to her -- but I've realized that I don't have much to talk about with her now that we don't have gossip in common any more. First of all, I don't want to be enabled. And second of all, I don't want to be perceived as a shady brat. Because one of the things she hates is that she thinks people are constantly using her for some reason or another. Which is pretty much true in just about any relationship, actually, but I don't want her to think that. So I also avoid talking about schoolwork with her. With translates into... not talking to her. Which results in a very awkward friendship-situation here.

So I have no idea what's going on and I'm a little confused, but a) I don't want to talk about it with her (because I'm notoriously non-confrontational), and b) I still don't think there's really a problem.

But I've been praying about it, and I'm sure it will all work out okay. Because I'm not doing this out of malice. But I really have things of little import to say lately. I mostly keep to myself, low-key, do my work and occasionally chat with my friends about safe topics (weather, meals, homework, schoolwork, career searching, television, etc). I have been notably subdued this semester, and I don't even really know why. But what I do know is that... I quite like it. I like this keeping to myself. Keeping my eyes and ears open and mouth shut. I like it. Now I know why God tells us to do it. There's a peace that comes from reflection and there's a quietness that helps me stay calm and focused from the hectic pace of the world.

It's nice when God's on your side.

But yeah, I've been praying about it. And I think that's where I need to stay.

Project 10 Pan

2009-12-28T15:31:00.000-05:00

hahah! This is apparently a new trend that is floating around the Interwebs... so I figured I'd try it out. Being in school, this is optimal for me because I wear ... no makeup during the school year. School is just waaay too intense to both with it... all the time. But now that I have a convenient liquid pencil liner (L'Oreal Extra Perfect Liquid Pencil Eyeliner) and I shall be ordering the NYX Jumbo Eye Pencils (trying to pick out six colors is frustrating when you only have 5 ready to go) soon enough on ebay. SOOO... here is what I will use until I've used them all until they're gones and bye-byes. I'm going to try and pick one from every general category. Basically, I will not be buying ANY new makeup until I use up all 10 of these, period. If I run out of eyeliner before I run out of eyeshadow, I have other replacements, sooo...

Makeups
- Wet n Wild Sand Castles Trio. [by far my favorite neutrals palette. I put it on and I swear, my eyes *glow*]
- ULTA Eyeshadow in Sin City [matte black. A useful essential. It's been sitting here in NJ for awhile. Must be dragged back with me to NYC next semester]
- L'Oreal Extra Perfect Liquid Pencil Eyeliner in Black [it's gorgeous, goes on super easily, lasts well too! Nothing to NOT love about it!]
- NARS Albatross (omg. this is probably what's going to kill me because this stuff lasts... forever and a day).
- Wet n Wild blush in Berry Shimmer (perfect flushed look!)
+ ALL my eyeliners. Except for the ones that need to be thrown out, like my Wet n Wild gel eyeliner (it's too soft so it never actually "dries" right on me. Yes, it smudges for me)... and possibly my colored L'Oreal HiP cream eyeliners (only the black and the brown are usually of an acceptable consistency. The colored ones usually are too hard even freshly opened.

Skincares
- Unrefined Shea butter
- Dan Kern's AHA+ cream
- Kanebo Naive Aloe Facial Cleanser
- The Body Shop's Vitamin E facial mist
**for my credit: I've been really really good about not buying and/or being obsessed with skincare stuff anymore. My last big skincare purchase was the Pretika and I really really like it. But ever since I discovered Kanebo Naive, I've been in such a good place with my skin.

* * *

That's about it, I think. I have one more indulgence that I am allowing myself to make and that's Benetint. And that's because I've been wanting it for such a long time and it's just sosososo nice. And the only way I think I'm going to be able to pull this off is the fact that I'm going to be indulging in clubbing more often now (shhhh!) because I enjoy the ego-boosting, and playing with makeups more frequently than not.

What I Learned My First Semester of Law School

2009-12-21T08:48:00.002-05:00

1) Law school is high school on steroids. I said it from the first week, and this preconception still exists. Sure, we're a little more friendly because we're more mature -- but the cliques still exist. The competition, the pettiness, the gossip-mongering, the "I want to be cool and popular" desire.

2) You CAN not gain weight. When you have no money and no time to get food... it gets to be pretty easy. Add on top of the fact that if you're like me and don't stress-eat, you'll be more annoyed that you have to buy a new wardrobe and you don't have ze monies for it.

3) I have never worked so hard and studied so hard in my life... just to feel so dumb.

4) I have never been so scared of anything in my life by the time finals rolled around. I can't even describe how or why. It just... was.

5) In addition to #3, I have also never played so hard in my life.

6) NYC is an eye-opener in so many ways. Especially when you're living on your own as a grad student (which is, essentially, as a "working professional").

7) Find all the takeout places near your school as fast as you can. Your friends will thank you for it during reading period and we're all starving and need food. Now

8) Always bring your A-game.

9) Use whatever assets you have. That ranges from the superficial (your great hair and teeth) to the genealogical (your uncle's roommate's second cousin's wife's brother's great-aunt's best friend is a lawyer and is willing to help you proof your legal writing assignment). This is not a joke.

10) Everything but law school and studying is optional. Including things like personal hygiene.

Falling into place...

2009-07-10T22:44:00.002-04:00

God has a way of making my life fall into place. Almost effortlessly.
I'm pretty sure that it's His Grace because, knowing me, I could be incredibly spiritually attuned and still have no idea what I'd want to do with my life.

I mean, everything's worked out. I'm going to a great law school in one of my favorite cities in the world. Sure, I'm also carrying a mountain of debt -- but God is gracious. Everything will work out. I've, almost effortlessly, found an apartment (with a modest rent), church, and God has even provided small simple tasks/jobs for me this summer that have resulted in me acquiring -- optimistically -- enough spending cash to tide me over for at least my first semester (as long as I remain tightfisted). Sure, it's going to be difficult, but I've realized that the only thing God really hands to you on a silver platter (and even then, not really because it requires a lot more personal committment and deliberation than a lot of other decisions in life) is Salvation.

But with Him, all things are possible.
So I can do this.

NYC, here I come!!

makeup swapping

2009-06-14T18:48:00.002-04:00

I get it.

I'm the newbie. I don't have that many tokens, I have a small wishlist and an even small swaplist.
I GET IT.

But still. Maybe I'm really new at this -- but I figure that swapping is for items that you don't want. You have these items around, haven't used them for awhile, are never going to use them and therefore want to swap them for people who do want these items and you can in turn get something that may or may not be interesting or that you're interested in.

In other words, it's an item that you don't care about. You don't care that you spent $18 on it because you really don't care for it. Personally, I have no problem swapping an $22 item that I don't care for for a $8 item that I really really want. But swapper who put up high-end products and then have a problem giving it away? Especially since you intitiated the swap? *angry faces and gestures* Either do what another swapper did and give me a list of what you think is a fair swap for a $1.99 brush or at least many up and be like, "Sorry. I don't think that's a fair swap."

I think people intentionally buy in-demand or post in-demand items hoping that someone will pounce on their list. I genuinely post items that I don't care for (like the UDPP -- even though I've swapped for it again, lol!) regardless of price and as long as I consider the swap fair, it's fair. None of this "MAC for MAC or more expensive" crap. srsly. And once someone does like something on this list it's like "Ooh. Sorry. Is there something else you're interested in?"

No. I'm sorry. There isn't. I was being polite. And if you were polite too, you'd straight up tell me that you don't think that's a fair swap, but you'll offer me this instead. Because frankly, I know that it's a $1.99 brush. But I also know that it's hard to find and that people are willing to give it up for something that they don't care about. And if you really want this brush, then you'll fess up. Right?

*angry gestures*

Softener vs. Toner

2009-03-19T14:45:00.000-04:00

(softener is also commonly referred to as "lotion.")

Shiseido The Skincare Nourishing Softener

Lancome Tonique Radiance Clarifying Exfoliating Toner

* * *

Commonly, in America, when people go into department stores, big-box stores, drugstores, or beauty stores (like Sephora, Ulta, etc) and we see softener, we think of it as a toner. Mass media tells us that toner is intended to sweep excess dirt and makeup and cleanser from skin and closes and tones pores. It also tells us that oner goes on before applying moisturizer.

Essentially a softener is NOT a toner.
No, they are not one-and-the-same. They are completely different and used for different purposes. My mother is renowned in her circle of friends back in Taiwan as having absolutely lovely skin. It was firm, pale, white, and glowed. This is all very true. But she's been living in America for 20+ years, and frankly, America doesn't have the plethora of aestheticians and facial products available to the consumer as does Taiwan. In other words, my mother's skin deteriorated rapidly here in America until just a few days ago she was diagnosed with [facial] seborrheic dermatitis (ick) and skin that looks nothing like what it was before.

She had vaguely explained to me that in Taiwan, she was taught (by an aesthetician) to essentially use four cleansing products (as opposed to America's two, sometimes three).
1) A cleanser
2) A "makeup water" that opens pores (softener/lotion)
3) A moisturizer that deposits moisture into pores and skin
4) A "close pores" liquid that closes pores and locks in moisture (and keeps other stuff out), aka toner.

She used the analogy that steps 2-4 was like a drawer: softener/lotion opens the drawer, moisturizer/cream is put into the drawer, and a toner closes the drawer.

In Taiwan, the item you use in the 2nd step (to open the drawer) is translated as toner. BUT in America, a toner is actually the item one should use in the 4th step, not the second. Because a toner "closes the drawer" and doesn't open it. The item used in the 2nd step is loosely translated as a lotion, but clearly America's perception of lotion is different from the Taiwanese/Asian perception of lotion (so my mom was in a mild shock when she was first in America and bought a bottle of lotion to apply for her face, lol).

After much consternation and explanation today at the mall, my mom and I ventured into Sephora and began looking at Boscia products (Boscia is a subgroup of Fancl, which is a huge Japanese cosmeceutical company) because they're all natural and my mom is thoroughly cowed into taking better care of her skin with her onset of sebhorreic dermatitis (which, much like eczema, is incurable and can only be evaded and subdued). After much perusing, we looked at the Shiseido products just a bit of a ways down. And we came across the elusive softener that no other company except for Shiseido seems to have.

And then I saw the light.

"Ahhhh....!" I breathed in excitement. I had read about Asian softeners and lotions all the time on the Internet through a handful of Asian beauty bloggers but never gave it much thought because they (like I) assumed that softeners and lotions were the same thing as toners (or at least how the West interprets toners)... but they're completely different! A softener actually softens your skin to open up pores and ready your skin to accept moisturizer (and please, lets not prance around the intricacies of psychosomaticism here). I explained the difference to my mom and we both came to the same epiphany and let out the same exasperated (internal) groan. Asian products really are more suited for Asian people. So we ended up buying Shiseido The Skincare 1-2-3 Moisturizing Hydratant and Boscia Balancing Facial Tonic (toner) (note how it comes in a convenient spray bottle, so I can just spray it on after my moisturizer). Yay! I'm going back to using products because... well, I want to.

A softener or lotion is a product that is intended to soften the skin and open the pores to allow the skin to absorb moisture better. It is not intended to close pores or sweep away makeup as many people would have us believe. A toner is meant to tone and close pores. This is applied after moisturizer in order to close pores and to block excess dirt and grime from getting in.

Like most movies and certain books, once you realize the actual purpose of certain products -- a whole different world is availed to you. So there you are. Softener/Lotion and Toner are completely different things, but you need both for effective skincare.

/addendum
Commonly, in Asian countries, women actually use up to 8 products in their facial cleansing regimen.
1) Cleanser
2) Softener
3) Serum
4) mask (optional, not everyday, 1x a week)
5) Essence
6) Moisturizer
7) Sunblock (daytime only)
8) Facial mist to set everything before you leave ... or go to bed.

And that is probably why they have such good skin and such a thriving cosmeceutical industry.
Beauty is time and... well, time is beauty.

Kose Clear Turn White Essence Facial Mask

2009-03-05T17:16:00.000-05:00

egads. Could that be a more wordy title for a simple mask?

Anyways.

Product Review!
(no pictures though, because I'm just simply not that thorough).

Price: $18.99-$20.00
Overall: 4.5/5

* * *
Comments

I didn't really buy this for the whitening. I did, but I mostly bought it because I have nasty acne scars, and I figure whitening could help me target and lighten those spots. I purchased this at Mitsuwa in the same exact packaging for around $20. You get 22 pieces, so it's a relatively decent bargain.

The thing with these (and other paper facial masks, I would assume) are that they can and SHOULD be used every night. Or at least every other night. If you drop off in consistency, then the effects won't be as dramatic and sometimes may be diminished completely. I previously bought Kose's Whitening Mask with Vitamin C (came in a box of 10 masks) and I used those very sparingly... I would say around 1-2x a month, if I even remembered they existed. I saw no difference in my skintone or clarity during that time. After I took off the mask, my skin felt nice and soft and moisturized, but... once I woke up, that feeling was gone.

I've been using the Kose Clear Turn for about 3 nights in a row now, and I can definitely see my skin is more glowier, it looks more refreshed and some pesky acne scars that I have on my right cheek are actually fading! Like they used to be bright red, but now they're a more subdued brown-purple (as we all know in scar chronlogy, this is actually a good thing!). I read somewhere that the Kose Clear Turn masks are just soaked with a really intensive moisturizing serum that just saturates your face. Oh, and the paper-mask part has a lot to do with it too; it keeps the serum on your face and "delivers" a consistent and persistent amount of moisturization and "active" properties so that your skin absorbs it better. It's not just like one layer of serum, that absorbs and then is left to dry. It's a rather heavy concentration.

All in all, I'm trying to all-water method right now where I avoid using all products (especially cleansers), even though I falter sometimes and use a cleansing oil if I've worn makeup that day. So this mask really helps aid my needs because it moisturizes, but only briefly, and it helps clarify my skin too. It's a bit pricey (and since I don't know the next time I'll be going to Mitsuwa, if I decide to stick with this -- shipping will make it even worse, cause even if the packaging is compact, it's a rather heavy little box relatively because it's pretty liquid-y).

As an alternative, I've just ordered 100 paper-facial masks online in tablet/pill form from ebay. It's pretty popular in Asia, where you buy these compressed paper masks, and then soak them in toner/lotion or whatever mixture of your choice (really, except for water) such as milk, lemon juice, aloe juice, cucumber juice, tomato pulp, green tea, etc ... and then you allow the paper to soak up the liquid and then you put it on your face for a bit until the mask dries or you feel you're ready to take it off (ideally, both of those kinda coincide). For around less than $10, you can get 100 paper-facial masks to use and I'm planning on soaking them in lemon juice, green tea, and maybe tomato to see what I can get out of it. These acne scars REALLY need to go away. Naowz. Gratefully, the all-water method has really helped my skin feel fresher and less dull and congested than it has in a long time. It's quite liberating, but now I'm working on healing my skin of the damage wrought to it because of acne-battles in the past (grr).

I'm also planning on visiting Walgreens this weekend to pick up The Face Shop paper masks (I'm addicted now) in lemon juice and pearl essence (and maybe a few vitamin ones too) to see if they help me in my endeavor. The only problem with masking is that it's kind of a ... long-term committment. Like any relationship, you won't see fireworks or significant changes in just a few uses. I mean, I saw a big difference with the Kose, but I'm pretty sure to either keep those results or to see improvement, I'm going to have to keep on going. Which is why I ordered 100 paper-facial masks instead of 12 (like some other places were selling it for) or 10. Because if I'm going to have to keep at this, I might as well buy a ton and have them lying around. Not to mention, the 100 is actually cheaper than the ones for less? Even though I'm pretty sure they're somewhat the same. Or the same brand?

Running on a tangent for a bit, BUT the point is that those Walgreens masks don't come cheap (2/$5) and if I have to keep on consistently buying them to keep up my facial regimen, well wouldn't that suck? It's cheap enough to try and to pamper with... but for me who's really enjoying the consistent usage of these... Yeeeeah, I'm going to have to find an alternative. Somewhere.

Final word?
Paper facial masks good. Everyone should invest in them. They're better than those icky clay masks and they're so much fun to use, if a bit freaky, haha.

2009-03-02T20:27:00.001-05:00

You Are Dreamy and Distracted

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.

You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.

You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.

You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.

You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily.

You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind.

A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable.

You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in.

You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising.

You may miss out by not settling down, but you're too busy having fun to care.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

2009-03-02T19:07:00.000-05:00

What’s your favourite eye shadow color to wear?
- shimmery neutral brown (it's a shade from ULTA that has NO undertones, so it just gives a nice darkening/enlargening affect without looking at all obvious)
- black (lol)
(I actually like using colored eyeliners more; one of my favorites is teal/turquoise, especially on the lower lash line. It makes my brown eyes look lighter and really pop. Layer a smidge of black over to really make the color dramatic. hehe)

What’s the one product you wouldn’t leave your house without?
- Concealer
... but I go bare-faced all the time now cause I'm trying to heal my face. I usually only wear Vaseline or some other kind of lipbalm or lip moisturizer.

What’s your favourite makeup look – high drama OR natural?
- Flawless skin.
...it's difficult to pull of any look without flawless skin. Dramatic eyes draw attention to the face, so everyone looks at the skin, save contour & highlighting.
- but... if I must, recently, I'm really liking the natural look. Not the "I'm not wearing any makeup" look, but the look that makes your eyes look bigger, face look brighter, lips look pinker, without being too splashy or obvious or using lots of color. The natural look, to me, is more about subtle brightening of the face without any real enhancements.

Which feature do you play up the most?
- My eyes. Cause they're small. After that, it's my lips, because I still think that I have some of the prettiest lips I have ever seen.

Which feature do you try to downplay/cover up?
- My hyperpigmentation (acne) scars =(. I don't think they're that noticeable, but y'know... we tend to notice every flaw we have and think it's a million times worse than probably anyone else does.

Your favourite makeup brand, if you could pick only ONE to exist?
- Uh... I hate for sounding so stereotypical, but I think it's most fair (for myself and the rest of the world, lol) is MAC. haha. They have the most options in terms of everything and excellent quality. Plus, the price isn't ridiculously exorbitant (after being quite a frequent-shopper of Sephora, I have come to realize that MAC isn't the most expensive brand you could buy. Yes, it is quite expensive, but it's not the worst-worst out there. Especially for the pay-off and the selection).
- Otherwise, maybe Wet n Wild, because their stuff is cheap and convenient and really good quality considering you can probably buy their entire line for around $100.
- Or maybe Everyday Minerals because I generally think their prices are fair, and of course: they have the essentials like foundation & concealer.
... but I'd really miss all my nailpolishes.

Which product have you re-purchased OVER and OVER again?
- Nothing. haha. I don't wear enough makeup to necessitate a ton of repurchases. (skincare doesn't count here: I repurchased Neosporin ointment, Nivea Soft Creme), but I'm pretty sure if need be, I'd probably continuously rebuy Missha BB Cream (regular, not perfect cover) in the silver tube because it's that awesome. I still haven't even finished my first, but after running all over the place to mineral makeups and whatevers, I still really just... like coming back to that one. I just like it's color-adapting properties (or whatever it is that makes it blend seamless into my skin for perfect coverage). Oh, and probably a cleansing oil.

Which product would you NEVER repurchase again and why?
- Wet n Wild MegaIlluminator (cream illuminator in the pump) and Wet n Wild MegaGlo cream highlighter (it's d/c'ed though). Both of them smell bad and made my skin itchy and I'm pretty sure the Illuminator broke me out (which never happens to my skin).

One beauty treatment you would always PAY to have done?
- haircuts! Unless I have a professional friend.
- chemical peels (don't trust this to DIY)
- eyelash perms? I've never gotten this done before, but I would never trust a DIY kit for this. Not that I would get a lash perm done either...

One beauty treatment you would NEVER pay to have done?
- manicures. I wouldn't mind, but only if I had the disposable cash, and then, I'd probably more get a pedicure for the pampering rather than a manicure.

One beauty trick you can share with everyone.
- Always have makeup wipes and use them. And like accessories, take off one makeup (or at least subdue it) before you leave the house.
- Personally, I don't think everyone needs a blush.

Best advice you've ever been given regarding beauty and makeup?
- Less is more.

E.L.F Candy Shop Lip Gloss tins

2009-02-26T17:38:00.000-05:00

I'm a pretty big fan of tinted lip-balms especially since I recently decided to start wearing them (lol!) and I was surfing Google and I was linked to a reviewer on Youtube who was reviewing tinted lip balms and these were one of them. Since ELF products are only $1, I figured it couldn't hurt right. Well, I don't know if it's because of the size of these or ELF raised their prices, but these are $2, which isn't ridiculously expensive, and even though the packaging is a LOT smaller in real life than you'd expect (the picture is actually only a little smaller than life-size), you still get a whole tin full of lip "gloss." They say it's a gloss, but it's more like a balm with a sheer sheer tint of color. Not very glossy/shiny at all -- just that pretty moisturized look. Which is exactly what I want.

note:I hated the lip gloss trend when it started and I still despise it now. But like black nail polish (which I actually DO adore), I guess lip gloss is a trend-turned-fashion thing now. It seems to be a staple now. The only time I tolerate it is when it's on a NUDE lip (and I'm not talking about an only-wearing-lipgloss-lip, but a lip that is wear lip-eraser or some other nude lipcolor that would look too dead without gloss like MAC Myth or something)

I got: Candy Fix (pink), Melon Mayhem (glittery peach), and Cherry Bomb (red!) and I love all of them! They're sheer so it just gives a slight part of color... so no biggie. But these are definitely a keeper.

(my next experiment is to pick up a package of cherry & strawberry jello cause I heard that they make good liptints? egads. Does anyone know of a pink jello powder?)

No-Cleanser Clean Skin!!

2009-01-19T15:46:00.000-05:00

* * *

Based off of this thread on Acne.org: A New Light for Many

Summary:
Get rid of your cleansers. Simple, right? Yeah, not really. But the basic premise of this conclusion is this: Your skin is naturally equipped to fight off acne and other superficial infections. Yet, during adolescence when our bodies are changing and growing and we're getting surged with hormones that mess with sebum production and skin changes (like stretch marks), we sprout acne. Some of us are blessed with mild acne and the occasional pimple (if huge, inflamed, and cystic) and some others of us are attacked with severe acne where our face looks red and irritated and has enough grease to fill a tub of Crisco. And then, we panic. We run out to drugstore and buy everything with the name "acne" on the label in hopes that it will get rid of our zits. Now, after spending $500 on the drugstore(s) over the course of 2-4 years, our acne hasn't abated in the slightest and we're stuck looking dumbfounded at those Neutrogena commercials with those pretty girls and their perfect skin and we succumb to the next level: infomercial wonders.

Which of course, doesn't work. So we move on, again, and go onto the next level: department store brands! If I'm paying $75 dollars for a full anti-acne set, then it will work, right?! But still... alas: nothing really works. Finally (finally finally finally), we admit the ultimate defeat and look up our health insurance and dig around for a dermatologist in the area. We go there in the hopes that she or he will have all the answers. They prescribe pills, creams, ointments, and other types of dermis therapy. Which we hope works. And usually it does. We smile happily in the mirror a month later at our bright & shiny faces and we sigh with relief. "I don't know why it took me so long, but I'm so glad I finally visited the derm!"

But here's the problem: you can never go off these scripts, you're stuck with them for a very very long time. Co-pays, the threat of a life without health insurance in the instance of a recession (woo), and frequent visits (if at least for refills) to the dermatologist awaits. Plus, there is always the possibility that your skin may develop an immunity and then.. voila! You're back to square one (or Level Three, depending on how you look at things).

So how do you get rid of this? Simple. Go back to water. No moisturizer, no cleanser, no spot-treatment, no toner. Just water. Your body was created with an incredible ability to fight off disease and infection naturally (if you REALLY think about how a healthy immune system functions, you'd probably be incredibly stunned at it is intricacy). So what makes your skin any different? Right. Nothing. Therefore, if you give your skin enough time, it will be able to recover from all the previous damage that other topicals have done to it and restore balance back to your skin. There's a lot of really scientific babble about acid-mantle and pH level of your skin, but it really comes down to just washing with water. Cleansers and topicals irritate your skin. Some of them don't irritate as much, but they all do to an extent. The best method is to go cold turkey and just start washing with tepid/lukewarm water. DON'T USE HOT WATER! I don't know why people are supporting this. Lukewarm water and a washcloth is all you need to help rid your skin of extra sebum. Hot water definitely irritates skin and can even break capillaries. If your must: get a facial steamer for your dose of "hot stuff on face." The point of this method is to help your skin recover from all the previous irritation caused by the stuff that you've been putting on your skin

*

Who should do this:
"So this method is only for specific number, but majority of people:
If your parents do not have acne right now, or that if they have little or no trace of scarring; if you have acne only on your face, and only in specific areas where you keep putting medications; if acne only exists on a section of your face; if you rarely get neck acne; if you have mild to moderate, but not serious acne on back or chest; if you have no acne growing on pubic area; if you have little or no acne growing on your limbs; if once in your lifetime, you have not been using medications, and as a result, you barely notice that your're clearing up, but when you continued medications, your acne flared up again, and became maybe worse for the first few weeks, then this method will work for you!".

In other words, if you're [b]not[/b] genetically predisposed to acne, this will probably work for you. But if your parents have bad acne, chances are, you will too and then you'll need medication and topicals to control it.

*

Other links:
The All Natural Regimen (note: at the end of the first post, he has a few links to other useful acne.org threads/testimonials about this all-water/no-cleanser method as well)
Kiss Acne Goodbye blog

*

General timeline:
1st month: most dramatic and gratifying improvement. You'll feel like your skin is really going great/strong and recovering really well
2nd-4th months: The purge period as the deep embedded stuff starts coming up. I don't know how this affects people who have gotten deep-cleansing facials or other stuff to help purge their skin. But apparently this is the most difficult part of this method.
5th-6th months: Your skin has finally gotten the balance, or something close to it. Pimples come and go easily and quickly as your skin has finally managed to clear out the damage that was previous wrought to it.
note: this is paraphrasing the gist of what I read -- and I hope I got it right -- because I can't find the exact post right now. But they're in those Acne.org threads that I provided. And sorry to disappoint, but you're probably not going to see a miraculous change in just 24hrs, and if you do, it's probably mostly psychosomatic (the mind tricks you into seeing physical things about your body that aren't really there). The 2nd month is when the pain really begins.

And yes, in order to recover to a satisfactory extent (I'm gauging satisfactory as anywhere around 95% of skin recovery), you will probably have to patiently adhere to this for around 6 months. Six months is roughly how long it takes for your skin to regenerate fully from the deepest layers of dermis in order to give you that brand-new bright & shiny skin that you want so much.

*

About sunscreen:
"We have our natural sunscreen. If your skin face is currently damage then applying sunscreen will also damage your skin. Recover first, then once your skin is back to it's healthy normal state and you feel you are going to die without sunscreen even if you already have a natural one then experiment for your self which sunscreen to apply and how to best apply the sunscreen. Remember that we are different from one another so what another person uses may not necessarily apply to you. With this in mind experiment with it yourself and find that comfortable spot."

If you're excesisvely uncomfortable about sun exposure, wear a hat! I recently dug out my old baseball cap that I'm going to start wearing again when it gets too sunny out

*

Some other tips:
note: I still recommend reading the full threads, but I'm hoping this will address some key points.
- You may need to tailor this to your own needs. A few users professed to problems with hard/soft tap water in their homes. Some of them switched completely to bottled water to washing their faces and [i]immediately[/i] noticed a difference. While pricey, if this is something that is really a problem in your area, you may want to consider investing in some kind of water filter (Brita, Pur, etc -- the type that you can affix onto your faucet) so that the harsher chemicals can be cleared out.
- You know your skin best. This may not work for you. But it's easy enough to try. You probably already have a washcloth. And you don't even really need one. I just like to use it because it helps get rid of excess sebum (which you might need help in as your skin starts adjusting its oil production to compensate for your lack of moisturizer).
- Experiment. Play around with this. Baking soda masks, apple-cider vinegar spot treatments, sea-salt rinses (for your face) can all work rather well too. The point is to go minimal and natural. I don't know exactly how pH levels work into this, but I'm pretty sure you probably don't want to upset them (baking soda is basic, and not acidic and your skin has an ACID mantle, so I would try to stay away from that).
- Diet a huuuge deal in all this. Most of them have [i]seriously[/i] cut back on all kinds of harmful/non-raw foods including things like dark sodas (Coke, Pepsi, Dr. Pepper, grape soda, etc). And I think a few fans of this are also vegetarians as well. It's more like a lifestyle restructuring than anything.
- Stress. While annoying, can't be avoided. But they say that once your skin has been regenerated and restored as well as it's going to get: it will be able to fight off those pesky stress/hormone pimples more effectively than any topical/antibiotic could.
- Yes, makeup should be avoided.
- Age. If you're a teenager in the thick of it (acne/hormones), this may not work well for you. But it can't hurt. Certainly better to risk this than risk a dependency on ProActiv for the rest of your life. Remember: genetics play a key role in this! If your parents have fairly clear skin and so do your siblings (relatively), then chances are you were intended to have clear skin too. It just happened to get 'effed up along the way because of all those pretty bottles and tubes.
- Yeah, this gets rid of scars too (skin rengeration = scars disappearing)! Patience and perseverance. But of course, if you want to have a fairly acne-free existence for the [i]rest of your life[/i], 6months-1year is a small sacrifice to make. Especially if you're replacing prescription meds and a lifetime of cleanser/serum hunting.
- Unfortunately, pollution IS an issue in this. Your skin can and will make compensations for that, but there's really no guarantee. I have no answers for that. The only thing I can think of is strict diligence in adhering to this method and a good washcloth.
- Apparently, scrubs are bad because they irritate. Washcloths are the best thing for that exfoliation action.
- Your skin CAN re-learn how to take care of itself without all the dependency on chemicals, it'll just take time. BUT REMEMBER: this is about genetic predisposition. If your parents (either one of them) has had really bad skin, chances are... you will need the topicals. THIS MAY NOT WORK FOR EVERYONE, but hopefully it will work for a majority of people.
- Read the other links!

*

If you don't have the time to read all that, I'll make this big so you will read it:
This is more of a "recovery" rather than a "cure." This will not [i]cure[/i] your acne, but rather will allow your natural skin (the beautiful baby-smooth skin you had of your pre-adolescent years) to [i]recover[/i] and enable you to recover from any future acne attacks efficiently and effectively.

* * *

My Personal Opinion:
I can't attest to how well this works. Honestly. Because I haven't really done it. I did it for about ... three days. And then I broke out in one huge recurring cystic pimple on my right cheek. Flipped out and swore that this wasn't working. Or rather, I knew I was purging (I hate purging), but I credited it to the fact that I get hormonal and stress acne, so therefore I need topicals to recover from it.

These threads and testimonials and explanations have helped a lot. It goes to show that since our skin is unbalanced and damaged, it can't recover even from the slightest of pimples without the aid of medication. But once your medicate, it damages/strips your skin, and the cycle thus begins. If you give your skin adequate time without damaging it at all, then it will slowly start to recover and regenerate and you'll get fresh healthy skin that is capable of recuperating without the aid of medication.

Awesome blossom. I have a friend who is around 17 years old. She had the occasional pimple, but nothing really terrible. What does she was her face with? A washcloth and water. No moisturizer, no sunscreen, just water. Grrr.

The reason I like these threads better than the crap that dude on Soompi spouts?
Because these guys, young though they are, take the effort to explain why they think this works. Not just a few brief and vague sentences about pH levels, and leaves the rest for the readers to pester him with questions. Which isn't necessarily a fault of his. Some people are just innately bad at being thorough in their postings. They don't like to close loops or holes and instead use attractive catchphrases like "Fight the Corporations!" and excessive uses of "ur" (I HATE "chatting shorthand." NO ONE I know of actually types "u r gr8"). No, these posters decided to post something things, but ALSO ALLOWED for allowances like "This may not work if you're genetically predisposed to acne! And it will take time!" and what to do about sunscreen. They don't address things like makeup removing, because the basic tenet -- I garnered -- was to NOT USE MAKEUP (cause it damages your skin). They didn't boast about how they studied pre-med in college and dabbled in dermatological studies. Instead, they just... explained it as well as they could and tried to account for as many potential discrepancies as possible.

THAT'S what I like to read. Close the holes and tie the loops. AND THEN I won't think you're a load of BS who's telling people to "do this" because "it worked for me!" (like Ricebunny.... grr. 'nother rant for 'nother day).

Miniature Makeup Haul...!!

2009-01-13T18:28:00.000-05:00

Literally.

Just kidding.

I actually went to Walgreens & CVS today in search of Revlon Colorstay Eyeliner because they're BOGOF at both places (yay!). Now, I don't need a black, brown, blue, [dark] purple, or gray eyeliner (I have my L'Oreal HiP or Urban Decay liners for that)... BUT since I've heard so many excellent raves about them (and they're BOGOF!) I figured I'd give it a shot, right?

Not. The only color that I was interested was Teal because someone swatched it on Youtube, and it was this GORGEOUS deep forest green liner that I've desperately been looking for. And looove. But alas, CVS didn't have any of the "special" colors (just black-brown and charcoal), so I headed down the road to Walgreens (they're about 5min apart anyways) because they're usually better about that.

And lo and behold, I stumble upon the "limited edition beauty" aisles of Walgreens (I think anyone who's reading this knows what I'm talking about). And I was just ... stunned.

Now, by far my favorite drugstore brand is Wet n Wild. Primarily because they're sooo super cheap, but also because they really don't skimp on quality and even if they do, I don't feel too gypped (I'm an excellent speller, and yes, that is how you spell it). Packaging and color options suffers a bit, but Wet n Wild usually gets it right. Just stay away from their mascaras; I haven't found one that I really love from them yet. But mascara is so subjective and so picky. Just exercise some common sense, y'know? If it looks like it'll be good, then get it. Don't just blinding reach in there and grope for the first thing you see. But I've rarely been disappointed in their colored items (blushes, bronzers, eyeshadows, etc).

ANYWAYS... did you know they have cream eyeliner now? And apparently it's supposed to be really good. It's $3.99 for a pretty teeny bit, though. I paid a bit over $4 for my L'Oreal HiP, so I'm not too upset that I didn't "hold out" for the Wet n Wild stuff. BUT they also have something that caught my eye on my hunt for dark green eyeliner. Wet n Wild MegaChrome Eyeliner.

ajl;ksj;dfajk;skdfjklsdf *dies*. It's not even on the friggin website! Now, it really sucks because ~~most~~ some of Wet n Wild's stuff are real gems but since they're Limited Edition, they tend to clear out reeeaallly fast. So I have no idea how old (or new?) these MegaChrome eyeliners are. All I know is that I'm going back to buy the rest of them on Saturday. They only have four colors anyways. And I already bought two of them.

I was going to swatch them, but bah humbug... my silly little cameraphone doesn't do them justice.
I got one in Gold Pewter (150) and this green one (152)... I think the name had something "emerald" or maybe "forest" in it (or "pine?")... but they don't print them on the actual pencils, just the numbers. BUT IT'S ALL KINDA MAGIC. SOOO pretty. It's like... okay, this will be a bit weird: but if you can imagine the China Glaze Emerald Sparkle nail polish, and imagine it a shade darker, and with a little less micro-glittery, you're a bit close to imagining what this eyeliner looks like (I know...I'm so bad at this). But the best part is... it's only $2.99!!!

I was pretty psyched about that. Considering Revlon Colorstay was still around $3.75 even with BOGOF. I need to get more backups.

Another one is this really gorgeous (gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous) gold color (hence: gold pewter). It's more like a true yellow-gold tinge rather than a bronze-gold look, but it's soo soo sooooo purty. I need to snatch these all up.

And then, I wandered into the REGULAR Wet n Wild selection in Walgreens (was hoping to see if they had some of the i-Sparkle eyeshadows, but alas, no)... and I picked up ANOTHER three pencils in: Cool Green, Lilac, and Turquoise. AND SO SO SO PRETTY. Staying power is really really bleh, but I have a secret for that!!

Silk Naturals Perfecting Powder. It's a mineral setting/finishing powder that goes on, basically, clear. And since just about every Silk Naturals order you make, you get a little sample jar of the stuff, it's the PERFECT size for dipping in your eyeshadow brush and then just dust-and-set over your eyeliner, and hopefully, smudge-proof line!

No pictures, because better no pictures than crappy pictures, lemme tell ya. But yeah: MegaChrome is teh awesome. Just had to share that. Cause no one else blogs about them. They have a dark purple and a dark blue, so I may or may not pick those up (since I have not only the dark purple HiP but also a purple Urban Decay and the dark blue HiP which really pleases me to no end), but I MUST go back for the green & gold.

for the skin...

2009-01-04T14:55:00.000-05:00

There's this topic floating around Soompi about pH levels and your skincare regimen. While fundamentally, I agree with the original posters' intent, I can't help but ~~hate~~ really dislike his approach. First off all, he takes this kind of theistic (read: god-like) tone to his postings and, indeed, comes off like a know-it-all prick who insists that skincare corporations are moste evile and that as long as everyone follows his "caveman" regimen of nothing but using pure water (and avoid the sun) to take care of their skin, you too can also have perfect skin like mine!.

*gag*

While pH levels are important to consider when cleansing the skin, there are also important things to consider such as comedogenic ingredients and irritants. Which he agrees with, but never affirms in actual writing. And then reacts like a prick when other people point out this flaw. In other words: he responds to questions, and responds to contradictions and people who disagree with him, but never responds to something he does agree with. Unless it's to make a greater point (like pointing out he's not the prick).

1. I do, agree, that most skincare corporations are out there to leech your money and don't really have much else than their bottom line in mind. With that said, don't you think that they would also try to make as good products as possible so that people would keep on buying them? While most people who are probably working in those R&D departments do know something about skincare, they probably also are worried about meeting their quota as well. Personally, while they are there to get your money, they aren't really "evil." At most, they're greedy. It's one thing to see through their transparent efforts, but his tone takes on this, "EVERYONE LET'S REVOLT AGAINST THE CAPITALIST MENTALITY OF THE SKINCARE INDUSTRY!!" Some of these products are really good for some people; quit trying to make everyone a commie like you. What about dermatologists?

2. pH turnover requires at least a good month to be visible. So these people that are miraculously seeing their skin clear up in a few days? Yeah, that's not because of pH level; it's because you're giving your skin a break.

3. DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH PEOPLE!. This ~~prick~~ guy gave you a bit of general advice. You want to treat him like your personal dermatologist? Whatever. But do please realize that he's also a prick and probably has been blessed with pretty good genes. Of course, the people that I've met with genetic/hormonal acne tend to be pretty grounded and realistic about their facial ails and wouldn't fall for his crap. But for the other people out there -- it's always about finding the right products and not necessary erasing them from your cabinet entirely. Experiment with his ideas, maybe, but don't (please don't!) take what he claims as gospel truth. If he was more diplomatic, I would probably be more inclined to be kinder, but I swear -- he just sounds like a televangelist charismatic.

* * *

MY TAKE ON REVISING YOUR SKINCARE REGIMEN.

1) Indeed, pH does affect your skincare level. Cleansing oils, because they're oils, have no pH properties at all and are probably ideal for your purposes to cleanse skin and remove makeup and sunscreen.

2) Don't just "avoid the sun." Try to use sunscreen too.

3) Always buy stuff for "sensitive skin," even if you think you don't have sensitive skin. It's just a good rule of thumb; they tend to have lots less comedogenic and irritating ingredients.

4) Check review websites (epinions, MakeupAlley, Amazon, etc) before you make a decision to buy a cleanser or toner.

5) Toners are a pretty good way to bypass problems with pH since most toners are designed to restore pH balance back to your skin after cleansing. The only tricky thing is that you have to soak your cotton ball/pad with water and actually get your face pretty substantially damp before you put on moisturizer .

6) Go as natural and basic as you can.

My Regimen

1) Shiseido Perfect Oil for cleansing/removing makeup.
- Cleansing oils are so much fun to use. You actually have to make sure your hands and face are both dry, and then massage it onto your dry face. You'll feel the makeup and dead/flaky skin bead up and come off and get pushed around your face. Then you can add water to make it milky (no other way to describe it) and rub some more to clean a bit more (to get rid of that oil feeling) and then rinse off. If anything, cleansing oils actually make my skin feel a bit dry.

2) Tone with L'Oreal HydraFresh toner. I used to use Nivea Moisturizing Toner, which I love, but I use the L'Oreal now because it smells soooooooooooooooo good. My mom uses it pretty religiously and our skin seems to really like French products (L'Oreal is French and also owns cosmetic companies like Giorgio Armani, Estee Lauder, etc). I don't mind the Nivea, but L'Oreal is sooo nice.

3) Moisturize with 100% jojoba oil (Desert Essence -- not the organic label).
- jojoba oil mimics human sebum the most out of all the "natural" products out there and since I'm using straight oil, there's no potential for pore-clogging ingredients since this is straight. My skin drinks this stuff up, and it makes my skin look so glowing, smooth, and healthy and hydrated. I dab a bit of cream (Pond's Dry Skin) on certain areas that are more prone to dryness like under my chin and my nose (weird). But aside from that... I love jojoba oil. My skin

- in mornings, I just clean with water, still tone, and put Olay Complete SPF 15 (for sensitive skin) over my jojoba oil.

Single or Double Eyelids?

2008-12-30T19:59:00.000-05:00

Double lids (thanks Ayumi Hamasaki)

OR

Single lids, aka, monolids (I think this is Han Ji Hye?)

* * *

For the record, I have single lidded eyes, and I don't really care either way. And personally, I think that having single or double eyelids is a choice that you can make. Kinda like hair-dying, I suppose. I love my black hair, and I wouldn't ever want to dye it, but I can see why other people would. and some people do look good with pretty chocolate-brown hair (or whatever). But the option is allowed to them, so why not? In a way, I feel a bit more privileged than double-eyelidders, because I can have single-lids when I want to, and double-lids when I want to. I'm not invariably insecure about my double lids that I would choose to go around with them permanently (surgery is so finite, y'know?), but I like having my "equipment" around so I can play with them.

The point of this post is to list specific ways girls (or guys...?) can make double-eyelids with various tools/implements that are out there for easy purchase. Yay internet!

#1 Double Eyelid Tape

ebay seller, $3.99.
This is the Pink Lady brand, but there are a million brands of double eyelid tape everywhere. They generally come in three sizes considering the length of the your eyes and the thickness of the tape and how "high" you want your crease (think vertically from the lashline). Eyelid tape is probably one of the more easily available products online. You can run a google search, and I think EveCare sells them, but the best bet is Ebay. They're so cheap that you're practically guaranteed to not get "fakes," and even if they are fake, they'll probably serve the same purpose anyways, lol.
Other brands include: LuckyBerry, Koji Technical, etc.

#2 Double Eyelid Clips

Exactly what it sounds like. But pretty inexpensive as well. Not to mention that since they're not disposable, you can just them forever, if that's your thing. It'd be nice if they worked too. Won't provide a link because they're not worth it. Even if they were giving these things away for free -- they aren't even multipurpose and they HURT and don't do much at all.

#3 Doube Eyelid Glue

$11 at Amazon
Wow... you know things are popular when eyelid glue and tapes are available on Amazon (along with bb creams). I know when I was into bb creams about 2 years ago and eyelid glues/tapes, and I couldn't find them online anywhere. I scoured ebay desperately for bb creams and STILL couldn't find a seller. Eyelid glue? One variety and only available on ebay. Tapes? Only one or two varieties, and only available on ebay. Now? sooo many.

Anyways, I don't mind the glue, but it's annoying. You can't put makeup over it, and it feels weird. Plus, it persistently tugs on your eyelids cause it glues the skin together, so there's a bit of tugging all the time (unlike tapes which just press down on your skin so your skin folds upwards differently when your eyes open).

#4 Eyelid Fibers

ebay, $26
These are relatively new, and I haven't tried them firsthand. According to a seller on Soompi that sells them, though, they work but the learning curve is pretty steep. That is, you'll probably waste a few trying them out, and there's still no guarantee it'll work. Basically, people describe it as a cartilage, but I think it's just like one of those stretchy pieces of filmy-glue (like rubby cement?) that you can stretch and stick on your eyelid where you want the crease. It serves the same function as double-sided eyelid tape (#5), but it's flexible.

#5 Double-sided Eyelid Tapes

Run a search on Ebay for "Koji Tuck In Tape" and you'll get results. Prices vary from $8+shipping, but I got mine for $17.99 shipped.

From what I can tell, this is the newest innovation in "double eyelid" technology, since there aren't many dupes/brands of it out there, and even I heard about it from a user on Soompi who mentioned it in passing. Basically, it utilizes regular eyelid-tape technology, but now the tape is DOUBLE-SIDED so it's like... glue... but it's tape. If that makes sense. Basically, you apply one side of the tape on your lid like you would regular eyelid tape, but they give you a little fork too to poke-in your eyelid like you would with the glue. Since both sides of the tape are sticky, it'll act like a glue, but the sheer physicality of the tape will actually probably give you a more defined crease. The girl who used them on Soompi said she only used them for a month, and now she has permanent double eyelids. My eyes are quite trained at experimenting with this stuff, so hopefully, it'll be a successful endeavor for me as well. I'm quite happy with my monolids, but what annoys me is the fact that my eyelashes are made nonexistent because of my monolids that press down on a significant portion of my lashes. Therefore, I can't even curl them to maximum potential because if I move too close to the lash root, I end up pinching skin (I can never avoid it; and yes, I have a Shu Uemura AND Shiseido eyelash curler), so I have to curl farther, but that doesn't give me a nice-enough curl, bah.

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2008-12-30T17:19:00.000-05:00

... Just kidding. I've tried this a few times before, but basically I want a more "personal" blog. I've tinkered with livejournal, but for some reason, I've always wanted to come back to blogger. Probably my love for ~~all~~ most things Google (I hate Chrome and not really fond of GoogleDesktop either... and GoogleMaps). Well, that and I feel LJ is too clique'ish for me, and a lot of other popular bloggers that I follow/love also have Blogspots, so I figured, why not put them here? Anyways...this is my personal blog. Wordpress has separated out into almost-strictly entertainment/edutainment purposes, this one will be a bit more lighthearted. I'll have pictures, personal rantings, reviews, etc. Stuff that don't classify as entertainment related. Check both. I may or may not cross-post (but I probably will designate at one time or another) in both blogs, but sometimes I might. With THIS blog, I will ~~always~~ try my hardest to cross-post when I've updated thine Wordpress.

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First post. Usual tester post... lollers.